My Scars

One on my front left pectoral, three on my right waist and ribcage, and several smaller, less visible ones on various sections of my body. Not all scars are physical though.. most scars aren't physical. Everybody makes mistakes, and learning from those mistakes is what makes us who we are. My physical scars remind me of my past and in turn my non visible scars. I'll never forget who I was, but I'll be sure never to make the same mistakes again.

My Letter

Dear Mr. McIlmoyle,

I am writing not as a student, but as an actor here at Daniel Boone High School. I have been involved in four of the high school’s musicals including: The Sound of Music, Fiddler on the Roof, Once Upon a Mattress, and most recently Beauty and the Beast. I have gone through four directors in these past five years. I am writing this in order to help you better understand what the cast went through this year.

There is a unanimous feeling amongst the cast that Mrs. Erin Benn should be given full credit for the direction of this year’s production. Mrs. Reimels did not give the cast proper direction or character coaching, and if Mrs. Benn had not intervened, the musical would have been disastrous. Once Mrs. Benn began attending rehearsals regularly, she took it upon herself to resolve this issue.

Mrs. Benn was meant only to direct the choral section of the production. She went above and beyond the call of duty during the final month of production. Not only did she take the minimal chorus we were forsaken with this year and help them to sound full, but she also assisted the leads with their solo pieces. I was especially grateful for her assistance with my solo number “If I Can’t Love Her.”

There were several scenes in the show which involved extensive amounts of underscoring, or music played under the dialogue. Mrs. Reimels failed to recognize this, and we were forced to re-block the majority of our scenes. Incidents like these were very stressful for our orchestra conductor, Mr. Benn. He had been rehearsing the pit intensely and had high expectations of the cast. The frustration he had with the director became more apparent as we neared the show date. She constantly changed scenes around, which in turn tampered with the orchestra’s underscoring.

The most direction Mrs. Reimel’s gave to the chorus was the over used phrase, “You guys are standing in a straight line. You can not stand in a straight line.” Mrs. Reimels spent the majority of her time standing on the stage, where one can not truly see what is happening. This skewed her sense of the sound and also the view of the performance. This denied her the ability to grasp the overall feel of the show, clouding her judgment and rendering her useless in giving any direction.

The seniors thought it necessary to hold a cast meeting one night after rehearsal. Nick Reck and I began giving the cast the direction they needed to hear. They all listened intently, and we could tell that what we said had sunk in on some level. After that night the cast started to act more and things started to come together.

Miss Reimels, the assistant director, accomplished less than her mother. On several occasions during rehearsals she would sit in the back of the auditorium and socialize with cast members, as opposed to watching the performance and taking notes as she should have. On occasion she would take cast members aside to scold them for doing something incorrectly, only to find out her mother had told them to do it. She would occasionally change the blocking from her mother’s original design only to have the actors adjust them again to better suit our characters.

There were several incidents which occurred at the elementary school preview shows. During the first showing at Amity Intermediate and Amity Primary, Miss Reimels failed to bring my beast wig, an essential part of the costume. Instead of returning to the school for the wig, she made attempt to push the blame towards me. The fact of the matter was that Miss Reimels insisted on packing the costumes on her own and forgot the wig herself. At the second preview show she completely forgot Joel Kutz’s Lefou costume, which he handed to her personally the night before. Her initial excuse was that she left it in her car, only to find it was not there either. She then said that her mother must have taken it from her and put it in the costume closet. We then were told that she left it sit on a table in the student union and one of the wardrobe assistants placed it on the costume rack.

Miss Shutt, the choreographer, was new to the Daniel Boone musical experience. She came in not knowing what to expect, or who she would be working with. She was given the opportunity to select her featured dancers and teach those routines she had prepared ahead of time. There were several occasions in which Mrs. Reimels would reconstruct a scene, causing Miss Shutt to redesign the choreography. Again, she was another member of the musical staff sharing in the frustration of the incompetence of our direction.

I am not writing this in an attempt to get Mrs. and Miss Reimels fired. I am writing this to make you aware of how hard Mr. and Mrs. Benn, Miss Shutt, and the entire cast had to work in order to give you the best performance possible this past weekend. If it wasn’t for the hard work we all put into the production, my senior year musical would have been a memory rather forgotten.

Sincerely,

Christian N. Kriebel

The following students wished to have their names attached to this letter.

James F. Killgore

Nickolas Reck

My Winding Road

And I was 17 and you kept on changing
Plans were more complex cause the cop cars
Finally stepped up to bat.


It’s amazing how well Ben Gibbard is able to sum up everything that is me.

I don’t know what’s going to come from all this, and frankly I’m scared. You always said it wasn’t time, and I was beginning to lose hope. So why now?
What makes now any different from three months ago? I’m still exactly the same as I’ve always been, aren’t I?
I’ve been here, waiting, for four years… four long years. So why four years later? My hair is shorter, I’m taller, my skin is clearer, but I’m still me. I’m still Christian Kriebel that hippiesq, sarcastic asshole you can’t help but love.
I just don’t want to be hurt, and that scares me.


There’s a quote from Garden State that describes where I’m at in life right now…

Andrew Largeman: You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone.

Sam: I still feel at home in my house.

Andrew Largeman: You'll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that's all family really is, a group of people that miss the same imaginary place.




That’s where I am right now. I no longer feel at home in my house. This is just where my things are, and where I come to sleep. There’s no real attachment to this house anymore, and I’m ready to move on. I want to go to college, and I want start working in a real job. I want to buy a house and start a family… well maybe not yet, but in the natural progression of life, I want that.

Maybe I’m just over analyzing my life, but I dunno… I just feel ready for more.

My Trip Down the Rabbit Hole

It's been awhile since I've blogged. It's not that I haven't wanted to, I just never really had the time to site and write.
I was working two jobs, Tim's Ugly Mug and Turkey Hill, but I recently quit Turkey Hill.
I've realized that I will never be work at a Deli or any type of fast food service. It's just not the job for me. I need to be moving, I need to work hard, otherwise I feel like I haven't accomplished anything.

I was accepted to Millersville for August of 2010. That was my favorite Christmas Present this year. I've been wanting something like this to happen, something to help turn my life around. I'm ready to get out of this town, out of my parents house. I want to start living like I should. I want to get ready for adulthood; I've been putting it off for too long.
I'm going to school to become an English Teacher, and I want to minor in Theater so I can direct high school plays and musicals in the future.

I thought I had everything figure out for now, but of course something new always comes up.
I'm not complaining; it's just unexpected. I just hope I don't end up heartbroken again. One can only take so much pain.
I don't know what to think. I truly don't. I'm scared, but I know whatever happens to me now will help prepare me for real life.

Which leads me to my next revelation. I've been paying so much attention to Karma recently, and it's paying off. Good things have been happening, and I'm ready for more. I've got to keep sending out these positive energy vibes.

My New Room--

Today my dad and I tore out my ceiling, spackled the walls, and added new trim. My room has had the same walls, carpet, and ceiling since I was in first grade.
I can't help but notice the symbolism in the remodeling of my bedroom.
I'm changing almost everything about it, starting a new.
My life hasn't been too great lately; I really can't complain, but I know this isn't want I want.
I'm slowly becoming everything I didn't want, but I'm trying hard to change that.

I'm done chasing dreams and living in the past. I'm entering the real world now and starting to act more like a grown up. I'm reconnecting and patching some things up, and I hope it makes me feel better.

I'm trying to avoid a downward spiral and stay optimistic, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I used to wish life was like a dramatic novel, full of passion, drama, and a happy ending. I'm realizing that life is more like a poorly written sitcom and I'm the butt of every joke.

This week things should start to turn around though. I'm changing my environment and hoping it helps lead to more change.


Wish me luck. =]

My Postponement

Alright. Here's the deal:
In the planning of my trip I picked a bunch of places I wanted to see; I neglected to really look at the places though.
I've been in Dublin for three days and I'm already bored.
I'm coming home for like a week, then going to Italy, then coming home.
I'm taking all of my money and putting it into my "money market account" to build up interest, then actually sitting down and planning a real trip.
I really messed up that aspect of my trip. I mean, what the fuck am I going to do in Berlin for a week with hardly any cash?
I'm in no way cancelling my trip; I'm merely postponing it a little. I want to do it with at least one other person, and I want to actually take time and look into places to visit.
I am also going to reduce the time from two months down to one. I've thought about it all day yesterday and came to the conclusion today.
It's not merely the matter of being alone, but really the fact that I'm alone for two months with hardly anything to do.
I want this to be exciting and eye-opening. Unfortunatly I neglected to plan it that way.
I'm going to finish out the week here and treat this as a vacation.
Then on September 18th I'm going to Italy for a week with my mom. So I'm not completely wasting my time with this. I am still taking this all in and appreciating it.
I made the decision myself, and I know I'm going to be glad I did.
I will admit that I was so excited to backpack that I neglected to really plan the trip I wanted. I based my trip around the idea of getting out there, not getting out there and living.

My Jetlag

I've never had jetlag before. It's a new kind of tired.
Not only do I feel drained, but I also feel dazed.
My sense of time is all askew, and I'm can't remember the time difference between here and home.

I'm hoping this will pass.

On a lighter note, I had a safe flight and check in went alright. I showed up four hours too early though. I dropped off my bag and started exploring.
This would have went better if I had slept well, but I made the most of it.
The city is surprisingly small. I've already seen so much.
I found out that my memory card doesn't work, so I'll have to get a new one. I'll probably end up getting two. Then my mom will bring my old one in Italy. That should last me the next few weeks, if I limit myself.

My Hostel does have a computer; I don't know if my next few do.
Feel free to comment my facebook or myspace to get ahold of me.