It's been almost a year now

There area many nights when I lie in bed sleepless, left to let my thoughts wonder.

Inevitably, my thoughts always drift to that day.. It boggles my mind no matter how much I want to shut out all the memories of that day, they always seems to stay clear.. I remember every moment piece by piece from the waking up that morning, to eventually passing out that night. My heart races, the tears flow, and the memories flood back in waves.

There were so many people here for me and so many people here for me still; yet, I still feel alone.

So many of my friends came to me just to be there with me.. just to be there for me.

Alexa and Beatty barely left my side during that week.. that terrible week.

It's been almost a year now

Why can't I just go one night

My New Plans

It's been awhile since I've written a blog. I've been meaning to for some time now, but it's so hard to put all of my thoughts down into words. So many ideas racing through my head at all times.
So, big things I guess would be that I didn't move back in with my parents for the summer, but instead I'm going to live at Millersville and continue to go to school here in the Fall. About two weeks ago, I had every intention of dropping out college to move away to California, but in a three a day period that all changed. My girlfriend broke up with me, and right after that whole episode I received an email form Financial Aid saying that if I were to file for an appeal, I would be able to get it. So I packed up and moved back down. Honestly, it was the best decision I could have made. I didn't want to stay stay at home by myself every night feeling miserable and alone. At least here I'll have my friends to get me by.
It's weird here.. not in a bad way though. I have a whole new group of friends here that are totally awesome. There's Shannon, who was the first of them I really met. He's such a great guy, and I love hanging with him. Then there's his girlfriend Kristen. They work really well together, and sperate they're each awesome. She's such a sweet heart. PJ is the token Gay Friend.. He's a lot like Charlie from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. It's great having a Gay Friend who can't handle me. He's not used to my style of humor, especially when it comes to the gay jokes. There's Abbie, our Canadian friend. She's a fun loving girl. There are more of course, but that's the central group.

It's weird having this new group of friends in some ways.. mostly because none of them really know about everything that's been going on in my life this past year. It's not exactly easy explaining to them that my brother passed away and my dad's in jail. I don't really care though.. I know they're all there for me if and when I need them, and that is what really matters.
It's going to be a different year. I have so many more friends here now, and some who are leaving. I'm going to really miss living with Zach. He's been such a great friend these two years at Millersville. Especially since we've been living together. We spent this past weekend hanging out, and it's just making it harder really. I always have such a great time chilling with him. Especially since Kyle Bailey won't be coming back this year either. It's just going to be so different..
I guess the real reason I'm writing this blog is because of my head being everywhere at once lately. It's always nice when I'm able to write some stuff down. I've still been short blogging on my xanga, but short blogs don't really give a whole lot away.

I've started setting up a plan for the future, and I've started really working towards it. I want to be in Children's entertainment, and I need to find an in. I'm changing my major to Theater, so I can get a degree. My parents would rather I finish school with a degree then drop out and move away to California like I wanted. I'm okay with it too. I really love being down here at Millersville. For awhile, I was really starting to hate it, but it wasn't the school I really hated. I just felt so alone and empty here.
It was hard coming back to school this year.. with everything going on at home and then being thrown back into this school routine, being away from Alexa, it all just added up.. I closed off and stopped talking to almost everyone. It's hard to open up to people when you feel abandoned and lost, but I'm glad to say that I've put that behind me. I love my new group of friends, and even though they don't really know it, they've all helped me so much.
I got a job at a local Restaurant, Romano's Macaroni Grill, as a Host. They've brought me on as a birthday singer and plan on training me to Wait as well. I'm really excited for it; it's been too long since I worked in a restaurant and I had forgotten how much I really love it. I'm excited for that to take off. On my first night, the little girls from the show Dance Mom's came in for Chloe's birthday. After singing Happy Birthday, the girls asked me to sing more. So, I put on an impromptu Katy Perry cover concert for them. Best first day of work ever. I can already tell that I'm going to like it there.
I'm excited for this summer.. It's going to be a lot different then I previously imagined it.