My Two Years Gone

It’s been a long two years.

So much has changed.

I’ve changed, for what is definitely the better. I’ve grown from my experiences and begun to make peace with my demons. I’m moving forward, and beginning to see what the future holds.

That being said, this year I made my return to the stage in Legally Blonde during the Spring. It wasn’t a leading role like I was used to in the past, but it didn’t matter. I was so happy to just be out on stage in front of a live audience again. I was so lucky to work with such an amazing cast and crew. Words can not fully describe how truly appreciative I am of every single person involved with that show.

A few weeks ago I was also in my first play since You Can’t Take It With You senior year of high school. For me play acting has always been an experience in and of itself. Nothing can truly describe the joy I feel acting in front of people. I was able to distract my friends and make them see only the character, which is all I can hope to accomplish. I truly missed acting, and it is so so good to be back.

This coming fall I will be assistant directing the fall showcase, and I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m so full of ideas and pride for my theater group it is ridiculous. I have faith that this is going to be the best showcase this campus has seen yet.

Shortly after Legally Blonde I wrote a post to my cast and crew on Facebook explaining to them about everything that had happened with Jeremy and the events following. I told them about my depression and failing out of school and how hard it was to keep going every day. I thanked them for showing me what I’m meant to do.. What I was always meant to do. They restored my faith in myself as an actor, and I’m ever grateful. It was nice feeling a part of a theater family again. It was something I missed dearly.

That being said, today is two years since I lost my brother. I still replay the events of that day in my head, starting with getting ready to go see Harry Potter and onward through the nightmare I will never stop reliving. There are moments when I’m driving through my home town still, and the events of that day trickle back in to my mind as the tears swell and wipe them away.
Two days ago Cory Monteith, the actor who played Finn Hudson died at the age of thirty one. He had been struggling with addiction for awhile now, and was in and out of rehab. I wish there were some way I could be there for his friends and family. I know all too well the pain they are going through and wish them all the well. They are in my thoughts. It is terrible to watch someone you know, someone you love suffering from their own demons, drowning their sorrows with addiction.

I’ve changed a lot of my views on the future since everything happened.. I need to live my dreams, and I need to make my name known as an actor. My brother had more faith in my than any other person in my family.. I can’t dishonor him by not sticking to my guns this time.
I want to intern in Disney, and in doing so set up a career path in the Disney company. It’s been my common theme among life goals for years, and I need to set it as my main strive. I know that if I work hard I can accomplish anything I want.

I’m hoping to update more often. I think I need this portion of my life back to. I had been blogging since I was in seventh grade, with this past year being my longest break between posts. I’ll be sure to not let that happen again